I am having a hard time knowing what I want to or am supposed to do with my life. Specifically, I mean. I don't know if it's because everything right now feels impossible and so far out of reach, or that I feel like I don't have skills to do something. Truthfully, I don't even know what I really want to do. Not even deep down. I mean, I want my life to be worthy of my calling, a life giving glory to God, but what does that look like in the day-to-day? In the long term?
The closer I get to this group of friends, the less real it feels.
How can my heart be changed when it's been set for so long? But what if I'm wrong?
I want to go to Alaska.
I want to lose fifty pounds.
I want to not be allergic to anything.
I want to stop being selfish.
I don't want to be here.
Grace and peace.