Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Future love

I've had the desire to be one with someone for so long. I don't think it came from Disney princess movies or romantic comedies or overhearing conversations of older kids or anything. I think it came from Christ loving the Church. I've been in and out of short, stupid relationships that meant nothing, and I've toiled with a manipulating, more serious relationship. But now, I've been single for five years and have really come to the conclusion that if it really is just me and God for the rest of my life on earth, then that's wonderful. But I don't think I have this desire for no reason.

I want to discover someone. I want to always be figuring someone out. I want to cook for him. I want to dance with him. I want to empower him and inspire him. I want to hold and be held by him. I want to find pieces of his past and fit them into the puzzle that is him. I want to be on his team. I want to serve him and serve with him. I want to experience mutuality with him. I want to pray and grow with him. I want to fight and wrestle through things with him. I want to make him laugh. I want to captivate him. I want to have open conversation with him.

Loving people to that extent is so difficult, but I think I, as well as all believers, have a great capacity for it, since our love is not our own.

Since we know what real love is.

It's a struggle, it's romantic, it's silly, it's emotional, it's miraculous, it's deep and wide, it's amazing.

It can be so painful, but it's the most beautiful thing to exist, Love.