Saturday, September 15, 2012


It's really hard living here.

It's hard realizing you aren't past things you thought you'd already worked through.

It's difficult to see clearly when your thoughts are clouded in manipulative lies.

It's a challenge to adjust.

It hurts to grow.

It all seems impossible when you lack confidence.

It's painful to love.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
- Psalm 27:14

Grace and peace.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Thoughts scribbled on a piece of paper

It's been a long time since I have written here. I do have another blog, but I always feel like I can't say what I'm trying to say for fear of it being interpreted in the wrong way. I've never thought that about this blog. So I am going to utilize this space.

I am having a hard time knowing what I want to or am supposed to do with my life. Specifically, I mean. I don't know if it's because everything right now feels impossible and so far out of reach, or that I feel like I don't have skills to do something. Truthfully, I don't even know what I really want to do. Not even deep down. I mean, I want my life to be worthy of my calling, a life giving glory to God, but what does that look like in the day-to-day? In the long term?

The closer I get to this group of friends, the less real it feels.

How can my heart be changed when it's been set for so long? But what if I'm wrong?

I want to go to Alaska.

I want to lose fifty pounds.

I want to not be allergic to anything.

I want to stop being selfish.

I don't want to be here.

Grace and peace.